I have a question for everyone that’s planning a wedding right now.
Are kids invited?
This seems like a simple question. However, deciding to allow kids at your wedding, or not, can be a big deal.
Before becoming a Wedding Planner, I witnessed a friendship dissolve over a couple’s decision to have an adult-only celebration! It was a huge blowup! The friend with kids chose not to attend the wedding and didn’t speak to her friend for over a year! Yikes!
As a Planner, this is a topic I address with my couples early on. Out of all the weddings I’ve planned, about half of my couples included kids on their wedding day. The other half was strictly adult-only or had an adult-only reception. However, all the events were amazing!
As you consider how or if kids will be involved in your big day, don’t make the decision lightly! I’ve listed a few ideas/options below for your consideration. Hopefully, this information will help you make the best decision for your big day!
KID FUN
Have you ever been to a wedding where children are included? I’ll describe it in emojis: 🥰💐💍❤️😍! Cuteness overload! They usually end up stealing the show! Check out these pictures of the most adorable ring bearer (my nephew, Jayden) and flower girl (Adelyn) you’ll ever see! My nephew had the time of his life at the reception! (📸: https://themodernheart.com/)!
If you decide to allow kids at your celebration, take time to ensure they have a great experience! When the kids are happy, the parents are also happy, and everyone can enjoy the wedding!
Space and Activities
Consider securing a separate space for the kids that attend. While this space may be used the most during the reception, this can also be an area parents use if their kid needs a break during the ceremony or cocktail hour. The space should include brightly colored decorations, kid-friendly music, age-appropriate toys/activities, and kid-sized tables and chairs.
Food and Drink
Have small snacks and drinks available for kids throughout the day. This is a thoughtful way to ensure your little guests have what they need. Something like this can be set up in stations or given directly to attendees with kids (in cute gift bags of course) as they arrive. Also, make sure you have a separate kid menu for the reception. Choose kid favorites and work with your caterer to come up with fun, creative ways to make and serve their food! It’s important that their dinner is as delicious and entertaining as the adult dinner!
Wedding Sitter
Want to make sure parents can fully enjoy your big day? Hire a child care professional! Make sure the person you hire comes from a highly rated company that fully vets its staff (extensive, regular background checks). Be mindful of the kid-to-sitter ratio. Hire enough people to safely oversee all the children that may attend. Prior to the wedding, provide information to guests about the sitter(s) so that they are aware. Hire the sitter for the entire day so that attendees can take advantage of the service anytime!
KID FREE
Have you ever been to an adult-only wedding? I’ll describe it using emojis: 🍾💃🏽🕺🏾 🍻🥃🎉🙌🏽 You know what, the emojis aren’t enough! Take a look at the photos from Jemia and Julian’s adult-only celebration (📸: www.bobbybandz.com/weddings).
This event occurred in 2019 and I still talk about it to every couple that’s considering a kid-free event. They did it right. They communicated their wishes and then focused all their efforts on the guest experience!
Communicate
Respectfully communicate your plan to have a kid-free wedding. You don’t have to put “Adults Only! Leave Your Kids at Home!” in bold 72 font on the invitation. However, make sure guests are aware by only addressing the invite to the adults or by directing them to your wedding website where more detailed information can be found. You can also call those that may assume that their children are invited. Politely share that the event will be adults-only and have your planner research babysitting resources that you can forward to them after the call!
Be Prepared
Once you make a decision to be kid-free, stick to it. Be mindful not to change the rules for some people with children. It may look like you handpicked which children you didn’t want to attend. This could lead to a pretty uncomfortable situation!
Make sure you’re prepared for pushback! If an issue arises, address it with the parents directly. If you end up with guests that are truly upset about your adult-only event (and you really care about their attendance and happiness), consider hiring a babysitter to watch their children at home for the entire wedding day.
A Night to Remember
When parents attend kid-free events, they are usually ready to “let their hair down” and turn up! Focus on making the guest experience flawless from beginning to end. Ensure that every guest is entertained and having an amazing time. Make it a night so memorable, that they ask the babysitter to stay for a few more hours because they don’t want to leave!
As you make the decision to have a “Kid Fun” or “Kid Free” event, keep one thing in mind. This is YOUR wedding day! You and your partner get to decide who's invited and who’s not. No matter what your decision is, just make sure everyone has the time of their life!